In the Circle

Dealing with my burnout

So it’s been about a month since I entered a blogging seclusion and have spent that time closed away in the dark of my apartment, hissing at sunlight and dreading the mere idea of human interaction. I’d like to say that I entered my hiatus for some poetic reason, but I was just exhausted. As it turns out, writing for both school and two separate recreational activities begins to wear on ya pretty fast. It was the harshest case of burnout I’ve ever experienced.

One of the reason’s I decided to take a break was heavily on the grounds of where I’m at in my education. I’ve been in college on and off since I was 18, I struggled in those first couple years, not really sure what I wanted to do, so I lacked any real work ethic.

I switched to online school almost two years ago, after developing a bit clearer of an idea of where I would like to be career-wise. Now, I quite like my schooling, aside from the group projects that make me want to rip my hair out and never hold a conversation with another human being again. I could die a happy man if I never have to enter those forsaken posts that groupmates inadvertently ignore until the day before the assignments due, causing everyone to scramble until the assignments due.

I also just write a lot for school. I don’t really mind it all that much, but it can get a bit repetitive and mind-numbing. Writing is much like any hobby, where the actual act of doing it is terrible and arduous. It’s much easier to see yourself in your head and doing it than actually working towards the anticipated goal.  The human mind’s capacity to imagine a goal is an astounding ability if only I wasn’t so distracted that I could better manage my work and do something with it. So, I took a break.

Now, I’ve been plenty busy since taking a step back. That isn’t to say that I haven’t been working. Part of overcoming my burnout was turning my attention to other projects such as the book I’ve been writing (if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been asked when it’s coming out, I’d just bank my life on all that sweet cash.) I’ve also started enjoying games with my friends again, whereas video games had almost turned into a bit of a job for a while there and didn’t provide me with any particular joy. I also changed my environment, cleaning up my workspace and switching from YouTube videos to music while I work on projects. I’m a bit of a disaster as a writer and so I’m seeking to correct these behaviors because being conflicted sucks ass.

So that is where I’m at, just a boy working through his troubles and making inappropriate jokes that’ll probably get me in trouble, but that’s just a part of the fun.

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